The Chronicles of Guapo
I was recently asked to share some of the highlights from my time working here at Pine Cove. Her rationale for me sharing was that I am an “experienced” PC staffer. Basically, she is saying that I am old! I guess camping years are a lot like dog years. One year in the camping world is really like seven. I started working at PC as a summer staffer back in 2001 so that would make me 84 in camping years. Wow, I guess I really am “experienced”. Now I won’t mention who this person was that made that “old” reference, but her camp name rhymes with “Crick Mouse”.
Anyway, I have been blessed to see many unique things at PC. I have run the gambit of emotions here from laughter to tears and experienced both joys and sorrows. The Lord has allowed me to not just hear about, but actually see many stories of life transformation. Also, I have had the opportunity to be a part of the lighter side of camp. For this post, we are going to track some of the crazier sides of my PC career. So without further ado here are few of the more absurd excerpts from the Chronicles of Guapo.
The Infamous Week 4 Cabin
During my first summer, I had one of the most unique cabins ever. On Sunday during our cabin meeting I could tell that these guys would probably each get sent to the senior counselor at least once, but I could also tell that they were going to be hilarious. From the beginning they bonded quickly and made it their mission to get their names forever engraved in PC Ranch history. They came up with crazy cheers like “We love El Guapo more than cheese tacos!” I never really knew if that was an insult or compliment, because they never told me if they really did enjoy cheese tacos. During one lunch, they decided they were going to be first to stand up and cheer. (For my Ti staff this was before we had the rule that you couldn’t cheer until after clean up is called. You will now see why we have that rule.) I am not exaggerating when I say that by the time we got the meal we had eaten, cleaned up, and were standing on our chairs cheering within 10 minutes. And it was all their idea. I literally sat there while they coordinated this efficient clean up effort. I do apologize to my fellow Ranch staffers who were in the dining hall during that lunch. While everybody else was eating and trying to have conversations, we cheered during the remainder of the meal. At some points they got tired of cheering, so they would just scream at the top of their lungs. Everybody hated us! This is also the cabin that found a log, taped a hat and sunglasses to it, and made it our cabin “mascot”. When the program director told them that they would be guaranteed to win the spirit stick the next day if they carried the log around with them all day (thanks Crockett!), they were ecstatic. During free time, instead of going to the camp store, pool, or playing warball, they rolled a log around the entire afternoon. That’s either dedication or boredom!
I have been asked before how I became acquainted with “Hyper Timmy”. Well, first, I didn’t invent “Hyper Timmy.” He existed long before I got to PC. He’s kind of like James Bond because many people have undertaken the role of playing his character. When it comes to my story and the role, Hyper Timmy really found me. I think it was the summer of 2004 when I was program director. The problem with me being program director is that I am absolutely horrible in skits. I can’t talk in accents and am not witty. (By the way thank you Tuck n Whoa, for running skits that summer!) I remembered staff from previous summers mention the name Hyper Timmy and I thought to myself, “Self, all you have to do is talk in a high pitch voice, jump around the entire time, and eat sugar.” I can do that. So that’s when I took my place in the lineage of Hyper Timmy actors. It was actually the summer of 2006 where my version of Hyper Timmy made his “big screen” debut when we shot a Commando rules explanation with him. I must warn you this is one of the worst videos ever made, but junior highers appreciate physical humor and randomness. So if you dare, put yourself back into your middle school days and check out my only skit character.
In 2005, I was senior program director and Silly Puddy’s title was the “next” camp director. (He would take over the Ranch the next summer when Dutch moved to the Woods.) Puddy and I were on stage as hype men as the campers came in for lunch. Now throughout that summer, myself and some of the other guy staff had a little competition when we were on stage. We would jump up and see how high we could tap the wall with our feet. The key word is “tap”. I guess from an entire summer of doing this, the sheet rock had been worn down. On this particular day with my future boss on stage with me, I jumped as I had been doing all summer and lightly “tapped” the wall. This time though the sheet rock finally gave out and a huge hole appeared. Some people will try to tell you that I “kicked” a hole in the wall. But you heard it here first that it was a “light tap”. The other thing is that moment in time has now produced a curse for other Ranch program directors. I believe the famous Fish Face has also had an encounter with that same wall that ended with a hole.
That’s it for this edition of the Guapo Chronicles. I hoped you enjoyed some mindless reading that has no intrinsic value!